After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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