I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Someone came in the potted fern
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
