you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
