I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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