He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
