we're chasing vodka with high fives
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
