And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
