Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i out mim tonsoeep
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