what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
