don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
