You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
