I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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