why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You're like the curious george of whores
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
