she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize