oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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