Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
