On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
