If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
me + whiskey = a bad person
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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