I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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