i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
