He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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