Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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