do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
