Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
