I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Bring me that man meat
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
