grandma shit on top of the toilet
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
