u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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