We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
