so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
