More tranny stories later!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the condom got lost in my hair
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i believe in u and ur pee
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
