we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
