Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
