my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
