It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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