The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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