The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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