your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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