He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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