New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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