i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
