so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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