Your mouth is God's brothel.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
