shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
