We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
