Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
