STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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