It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
