Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
