cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
