chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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